The Heletubbies
by The Lump
Summary: It's time the teletubbies got what they deserve, Heletubby style! New: Vote now, read chap 4 for more details!
1. The Time for Cleansing has Come

The Hellitubbies

Disclaimer: I own everything except the frikkin' tellitububbies and never will.

Narrator (in the voice of Arnold Schnegger): One day in Hellitubby land.  Oh, here they come!

(tellitubies song, except in metal rock!)

Narrator: Stinkle Winkle

The blue one: Stinkle Twinkle!

Narrator: Dickshit

The green one: Dickshit!

Narrator: Loo-Lah

The yellow one: Loo-Lah!

Narrator: Poo

The red one: Poo!

(The hellitubbies look like the tellibubbies, except with sharp teeth, red eyes, and each hellitubby has a different object.  Stinkle Twinkle has a chain saw. Dickshit has a sledgehammer, Loo-Lah has a shotgun, and Poo has a machine gun.)

The moon, with an 80-year-old man on it, looks down on the hellitubbies.

Narrator: Today was the day the hellitubbies finally finished their transporty thing, and slaughter those fat, moronic, and ugly tellitubbies they've hated so much.

Stinkle Winkle: Today is the day we've finish making the transporty thing, and slaughter those fat, moronic, and ugly tellitubbies that gave a bad name to the inhabitants of the planet Sofa.

Okay, so it wasn't really funny, but hey it's the first chapter!  I promise that I make it funnier next chapter, all right?  So, get off my back, The Lump has spoken!


	2. Ladies First

The Heletubies

"Ladies First…"

Disclaimer: (Read the last chapter, for I am to lazy as of to write a disclaimer nobody will ever like in a billion years)

Narrator: Day 2 in Heletubby Land.  The Heletubbies have just finished the tranporty thing to go and destroy the Teletubbies.

Poo: Uh oh!  Only one of us can go in at a time!

All together: Uh oh!

Stinkle Winkle: I say we go on a vote.

2 seconds later…

Stinkle Winkle: *Stupid Dickshit, Stupid Loo-Lah, Stupid Poop*

Poo: It's pronounced Poo, ya purple bastard!

Stinke Winkle: *How did that retard no what I'm thinking about?*

Poo: It's spelled "know", and I can read minds remember?

Dickshit: (looks at script) Actually, it doesn't say that in here. (points at script)

Poo gives a death glare to The Lump.

The Lump: What?

Poo: Oh well, lets not keep readers on the suspense.

Stinkle Winkle goes into the transporter thingy and disappers.

Loo-Lah: No!  Stinkle Winkle died and I never told him how I felt!

Dickshit: He only went somewhere far away, you ugly, yellow, fat alien!

Loo-Lah: Hey!  Lah-Lah isn't that fat!

Dickshit: Never mind!

Meanwhile…

Stinkle Winkle: Know where are the Fatitubies?

(Teletubby)narrator: One day in Teletubby Land.

Lah-Lah: (pops out of the hole and stares a Stinkle Winkle) Eh-oh! (throws her ball at him)

The pink ball grows larger and starts to follow Stinkle Winkle.

Stinkle Winkle: Aw crap! (runs away from the ball)

The ball opens up and swallows him.

Stinkle Winkle: Shit!(pulls out chain saw and pops the ball)

Lah-Lah: Eh-oh!  Time for Tubby-Toast!

Tubby-Toast appear from no where and throw themselves at Stinkle Winkle.

Stinkle Winkle: Ha-Ha! (cuts up the toast as it comes at him)

The Lump: Hello there children.  I am here to tell you the we will not show you the part Stinkle Winkle cuts up all the toast and then jump at Lah-Lah and slices her to shreds.  However, you can buy the scene from my cousin's friend's daughter's boyfriend's father's father's son's brother's brother, which is me!  And you can buy it for $17.95, so it is either buy or die!  Call at 1-800-you-wish, that's 1-800-you-wish!  Now we bring you back to you show!

Stinkle Winkle: (covered in blood)Now how do I get back to Heletubby Land…OH CRUD!  There is no way back!

In Heletubby land…

Dickshit:…Well you parent's are just as ugly!

Loo-Lah: (gasps) You take that back!

Stinkle Winkle: (Through the radio, who knew they had one!)Help!

Dickshit: What's wrong Stinkle Winkle?

Stinkle Winkle: I am out numbered 3 to 1, I need some he…ARGHHHHH! STOP! THE PAIN! OHHHHHHHHH…(static)

Everyone: NOOOOOO!

The Lump: Eh-oh!  Looks like the Teletubbies are even now!

Stinkle Winkle: Hey!  Why did you kill me off the fic!

The Lump: Because I hate your guts and you are fat and stupid.

Stinkle Winkle: That's it pal!  You are going to die!

Stinkle Winkle all of a studden dies and falls to the ground clutching his butt.

The Lump: (With a pad with 4 buttons in his hands)Ha!  Thanks to my brilliant mind, I have put a tiny robot on every Heletubbies butt!  And with a push of a button, it creates a butt rash painful enough to kill anyone!  And the cool part is that all I have a 2nd of this pad in my secret lab with a password that is "Teletubbies suck"  MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Teletubbies: (Over heard everything I had said)MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


	3. Heletubbies vs Dipsy

The Heletubbies

"Heletubbies vs. Dipsy"

I'm too lazy to write a disclaimer at the time.  Please leave a message after the beep.

Narrator: Today is to greave because we lost a Heletubby.  While our remaining heroes are filled with sorrow, I'll be at a party for possibly the rest of this story.

Dickshit: Shut up!(pulls out sledge hammer and slams the crud out of him.

Poo: Oh shit, we forgot to add a way to get back to our land from those fat bastard's place!

Loo-Lah: How long will it take to make up a way back?

Po: About 2 years.

Dickshit: How come you're the brains.

Poo: Because you are insignificant, Loo-Lah is ugly, it was mentioned before, and so it makes me the smart one!

Loo-Lah: (looks through the script) It doesn't say that in her.(points at script)

Poo: God!  Way is the script against me all the time!  It's because I'm a red-skin, right?  Is the author a stereotype!  In fact, I think he's a jack-(falls to the ground dead clutching his ass)

The Lump: Aw shit!  I killed the brainy one, I guess it'll take 10 years to make a way back so work you monkeys HAHAHAHAHAHA!(pulls out a whip and whack the two remaining ones as they carry heavy chunks of stuff.

18 hours later…

The Lump: It is complete!  Now go and kill the Teletubbies!  MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The two Heletubbies go into the improved transporty thing at the same time and ended up on Teletubby Land.  Where they see them watching porn videos through Po's tummy.

Teletubbies: (giggles)Oh yeah!  She's taking off her shirt!  WOO-WHO!

Po then explodes and the Teletubbies looked to see Loo-Lah.  Loo-Lah(with smoke coming from her shot gun) reloads it and points it at Dipsy.

Dipsy: Eh-oh!(He pulls out his hat and puts it on)

Dickshit goes behind Dipsy and hits him in the head with his sledge hammer.

Dipsy: (hammer bounces off the hat and turns to look at Dickshit)Bye-Bye!

Dickshit gets sucked into Dipsy's TV screen and starts to pound on it.

Dipsy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(blows up)

Loo-Lah: Now it's just you and me!(points at Tinky Winky)

Tinky Winky: Oh crud!(opens up purse and takes out a rabbit) Kill me and you kill this!

Loo-Lah: (pulls the trigger, but nothing happens)Crap, I ran out of ammo!

Tinky Winky: And know I shall run away and kill you once I find The Lump's secret laboratory and kill you with the butt rash thing!  AHHAHAHAHAHA!

Now read the next chapter to find out anything new!  Your future master has spoken!


	4. Coming soon frome Lumpy Animation!

Coming up in a short while.

Heletubbies 2: Loo-Lah's Adventure

Sequel to the exciting "The Heletubbies"

Loo-Lah is all by herself to stop Tinky Winky from finding The Lump's lab.  Loo-Lah fell into a chemistry set, for 3 year old and up, and gets a power.  Coming soon by Lumpy Animation!

PLUS: YOU CAN VOTE NOW FOR WHICH HELETUBBY COMES BACK TO LIFE AND YOU CAN JOIN THE FUN, TOO.  SEND A SIGNED REVIEW WITH YOUR NAME, WHO YOU WISH TO BE ADDED, AND IF YOU LIVE!  SEND A REVIEW NOW.


End file.
